Most people today understand the value of education and parents try very hard to pass this sense on to their children and are surprised when they fail. Parents are desperate for their children to succeed and they convey this to them. It is too familiar a scene when parents lock their children in their room to finish their homework or tell them they’re better off studying than watching a movie. Children get the message early on that they are studying to please their parents and this may cause certain problems. The first of these is that children don’t actually take an interest in what they are studying and will only…

Postpartum sex (which is a fancy name for sex after you give birth) is a complicated issue. Most doctors recommend that women wait 6 weeks before they engage in sex but here they mean penetrative sex and there’s nothing to stop you being intimate. Pregnancy is a difficult time and sometimes it doesn’t feel as ‘natural’ as people say it should. You are going through many hormonal and bodily changes that are likely to affect you and alter your perceptions of your own sexuality. Many women suffer postpartum depression after birth and this can affect their sex drive. The changes in your body will also take their toll, some women…

I once attended a workshop about assessment of children in schools and the professor said something that was quite worrying. She told us that in general children in this part of the world fell behind in terms of gross motor skills. Sounds like a complicated word? Well let me explain. Motor skills refers to abilities that do with movement. There are two main categories: gross and fine. Fine motor skills involve detailed movement such as writing and manipulation of small objects such as blocks, etc. Nurseries here tend to concentrate on these skills and children, in general, don’t have a problem. Gross motor skills are bigger movements such as running,…

f you’ve ever tasted jarred baby food, you probably discovered that it wasn’t very tantalizing to the taste buds. That’s because store-bought baby food generally has little, or no, added spices and seasonings, and much of the flavour is lost in the processing. So the question is at what age can onions, garlic, a tiny bit of chilli be added to their diet? What are the risks of adding these ingredients too soon? Considering that baby’s senses are generally quite keen, their taste buds are no exception. What seems disappointingly bland to us is sensationally flavourful for young, discovering palates. Breastfed babies may have a head start on the adventure,…

The trend these days seems to be to blame screen time for everything: crime, aggression, less social interaction, less intellectual ability, terrorism, moral deconstruction, etc.  This is definitely an exaggeration but since it is one of children’s favorite pass-time it’s important to understand the effects of these devices. There is one distinction that first needs to be made.  People often talk about screens too generally but it is meaningful to find out first whether the children are watching programs designed for them or for you, their parents.  If you watch TV all day, don’t expect your children to grow up as bookworms.  Children can also learn from TV and screens…

Our concept of self is an important part of our life and it begins very early. At around eighteen months a child can recognize him/herself in a mirror or in pictures. As this concept (and language) develops the child will be able to describe him/herself, first in physical terms (i.e. I’m a girl, I have brown hair, etc.) and later (around eight or nine) more psychological and abstract terms (I like to play, I don’t like to fight). This is when he or she begins to feel distinct as he/she realizes that he/she is an individual. An important concept that develops along the way is self-esteem. Self-esteem is an evaluation…

Many psychologists are interested in what motivates children to perform well. But what exactly is motivation? “An overall tendency to evaluate one’s performance against standards of excellence, to strive for successful performance and to experience pleasure contingent on successful performance.” One crucial factor is the value that the child attaches to success. This in turn depends on many things including the value that the family attaches to a particular task and the reinforcement involved. Social comparison is a common factor in school age children starting around 6 or 7. The extent to which this plays a role in a child’s motivation will depend on how competitive their society and their…

One of the biggest fears parents are faced with is how their child will measure up against all the other children. In other words are they faced with a genius or a cognitively challenged child. Psychologists in the past century have struggled to define exactly what intelligence is, yet they have found ways to test it and categorize people. One definition is: “the capacity to learn and use the skills that are required for successful adaptation to the demands of one’s culture and environment.” This implies that what is considered intelligent in one culture may not necessarily be so in another and this is why many psychologists have reservations about…

We’ve all heard thousands of reasons for not smoking or drinking too much caffeine, but like all health advice, we generally ignore it. It is important for future mothers however to be aware of the risks and effects of these substances on the body and how they affect reproduction. Studies have shown that smoking can affect fertility in women (and men) making it more difficult to get pregnant. If you are lucky enough to get pregnant (assuming you want to) then smoking reduces the amount of oxygen delivered to the fetus. It also retards the growth and leads to a newborn with lower birth weight and lower resistance to illness.…

We’ve all heard mothers speak about the moment they hold their baby in their arms and how they are overcome with love.  Guess what: They’re not just making it up.  Just after birth a woman’s body produces increased amounts of a hormone called Oxitocyn, a.k.a. ‘the love hormone’ which ensures and/or strengthens that initial bond.  As for the baby, there is a theory that they also have a biological predisposition to ‘attach’ to a primary caregiver (usually the mother).  The primary role of this attachment is to provide the child with a sense of security in an unfamiliar world.  The baby will be soothed better by the object of his…